Guilty.

02/17/2010

One thing I didn’t mention on here the other day was that the only other full time administrative assistant in my office is going to be out for about 6-8 weeks starting March 11th for surgery. I am still going through with this applying for a new job thing in the hopes that it will take a while to get the ball rolling, that it might take them a bit to call me back if they want an interview, and then I can schedule that for a couple weeks out… I’m also hoping that they’ll be understanding at the new position, if I get it, and allow me to defer starting (if I get the job) until she is back, or at least until she is ALMOST back.

I haven’t mentioned to my current boss that I am applying for these new jobs because I don’t want to stress her out, or upset her, and I like her a lot… But in the end, I have to do what is best for my family. So I am hoping, nay, PRAYING that I am able to make this work in a way that if the job pulls through, I don’t have to be a douche and leave them hanging at my current job. As I’ve already mentioned a bunch of times… I am TRULY grateful for this job, it helped us out so much, my boss is great and the benefits literally saved my husband. But can I just tell you HOW guilty I felt yesterday?? I was in her office talking with her about something and she casually mentions:

“You me and K (part time administrative assistant who really doesn’t help out barely at all when the other girl is out) will have to have a discussion sometime next week about whether you see there being any issues when K2 (surgery admin) is out, since all of her work will fall on you two to do.”

*gulp*

A pang of guilt totally hit me. I felt like I was lying by not mentioning my applications in at these other places. And I know if/when I do get a call back and an interview, I’ll have to tell her because I used her as a reference… I know that she will give me a glowing recommendation. It makes me feel awful not bringing it up, but I also feel like why put the stress on her of thinking I might leave in the middle of this other woman’s absence when I have no intent on doing that if I can at all avoid it? What would you do? I think I’m making the right choice in keeping it to myself for now… But I keep coming back to it, which makes me wonder a bit.